Struggling with Anxiety
I have suffered from intermittent anxiety disorders for seven years now, enduring unpredictable seasons where life suddenly becomes crippling. There is no trigger, no warning—just intense, irrational, uncontrollable fear.
God has walked me through these painful seasons and sustained me, even when I thought I couldn't keep going. He has used these experiences to draw me deeper and deeper with every trial; refining me and teaching me more about Him through the pain. I had accepted that this was my settled path—seasons of illness that God would sustain me through and use to take me deeper with Him.
God’s Sovereignty over anxiety
But earlier this year He did something I never thought possible (and admittedly I even struggle with doubt over now)—God healed me.
At a Christian worship festival, He moved and set me free!
Now I can't fully put into words what happened but I'll try...
I believe I heard God tell me that:
Anxiety must bow down to the Name of Jesus.
I have given you the authority to declare this over your own body.
…So I did just that! … And there and then, I felt a wonderfully intense joy coursing through my entire body and I knew it was gone!!
[cf Phil 2:10–11]
But then, almost immediately, the doubt kicked in and, in my weakness, I asked God for confirmation. That very instant, the worship leader spoke to the crowd of 5,000 gathered in the tent that people were being healed at that moment (Yes!). Then, he went further to say, quite specifically, that people with relapsing illnesses which had affected them for 5–10 years were being healed—(Yes God!).
Naturally, for all those who know me, I was overwhelmed and sobbed for the best part of half-an-hour, and then promised God to tell of His goodness and mercy to me! Truly I will sing of His goodness and love for me all the days of my life—He is good!!
Now, naturally I am human and so, even as I write these words, there is a niggling fear that I misheard or am somehow deluded and that anxiety will return, which strives to be heard in my mind. But I will trust my Jesus, He is worthy of my life.
Anything is possible with God!
He gives us stories ///
Throughout Advent, Refuge is posting a selection of stories of God’s work in our lives. Each morning of Advent, we will be sharing these stories for the encouragement and upbuilding of the Church—and to testify to His greatness. For the series introduction click here.
Ensure that you don’t miss them by liking our Facebook page!